Hearing the Midlife Tick Tock? Start Reclaiming Your Life

Sometimes when we look at our life, we feel like we need a new job, a new relationship, new clothes, a new hobby, a new living room, new (insert next desire or thing that isn’t working here). Honestly, sometimes nothing feels right.

Add in mid-life changes, menopause, daily stresses, health, financial restraints, caring for not quite independent kids and parents.

Man… no wonder there are days when we just want to pull the covers back over our heads!

At this stage in life, it should be different, right? We should be enjoying our life.

Not still running ragged and handling life’s curveballs as they come. Sometimes, squarely between the eyes.

We’ve been so successful in so many areas. Most of us have had education, careers, homes, relationships, families, and made it all work. Wasn’t that the path to happiness?

Making it all work smoothly, making sure everyone’s needs were met, having a nice, workable home, financial means. We had it going on!

And yet now, even with all those achievements, it all seems a little… unfulfilling. Sometimes, a lot unfulfilling.

Do you ever feel like something’s missing and time is running out?

They talk about the biological clock when you’re ready to start a family. But that clock starts ticking even louder when you get to mid-life. It ticks in the morning when you start your day, daydreaming throughout the day, late at night. How about at dinner time, cleaning time, laundry time? Tick Tock! Tick Tock!

I’m not sure we hear Tick Tock. We hear things like… “There’s got to be more!”, “Not this again!”, “I thought it would be different!”, “I got to make a change!”, “Can’t anyone do something but me… I got a whole life to live here!”

Sometimes it’s passive, sometimes it’s hopeful, sometimes it’s resigned, sometimes it’s downright angry! But you can still hear it. Tick Tock! Even in the best of moments, it’s still there. “I wish it were more like this!” Tick Tock!

I am going to give you a huge pat on the back! Life is not always easy, and you made it this far!

As a woman, most of us have been making sure everyone’s life worked. We put ourselves, our desires, our passions, our needs last… or at least almost last. That’s just how most of us were trained.

But the Tick Tock is getting louder lately.

And try as we might, all those things we did are just not as fulfilling.

As women, we are entering a new phase.

Human Development: Why This Phase is Natural

From a Human Development standpoint, we are being called in a new direction. According to Erik Erikson’s Theory of Psychosocial Development, midlife is the stage of Generativity vs. Stagnation. Erikson theorized that during this phase, people naturally shift toward focusing on leaving a legacy and guiding future generations. It’s not about striving for personal success as much as it is about contributing to society and sharing wisdom with others.

Key tasks during this stage include:

• Maintaining healthy life patterns
• Giving up central roles of grown children and adjusting to “empty nest” dynamics
• Creating a comfortable, nurturing home environment
• Caring for aging parents while navigating the responsibilities of midlife
• Adjusting to physical changes and embracing the aging process
• Engaging in creative or fulfilling leisure activities
• Reflecting on accomplishments with pride and integrating those experiences into a new purpose

These changes aren’t failures—they are milestones. They indicate personal evolution, a shift in what fulfillment looks like, and how we can transition from focusing on external achievements to internal satisfaction.

This stage presents an opportunity to move beyond the societal pressure of being everything to everyone and start exploring what you want your next chapter to look like. It’s about finding meaning in both big and small ways. You’re not lost—you’re transitioning.

Feminine Archetypes: A Natural Shift Toward Wisdom

From a feminine archetype standpoint, many women move from the Mother/Caregiver archetype into the Wise Woman/Crone phase during midlife. The Caregiver phase represents nurturing and taking care of others—whether children, partners, careers, or community. In this role, many women prioritize the needs of everyone else, leaving their own desires and ambitions on hold.

Now, in midlife, you may feel a pull toward the Wise Woman archetype, a time of transformation where wisdom, spiritual growth, and self-reflection become the focus. The Wise Woman embraces:

• Inner wisdom: Rather than seeking external validation, she listens to her intuition and inner voice.
• Creativity and renewal: This phase allows space for creativity, finding joy in artistic expression, or discovering new hobbies and interests.
• Letting go of old roles: No longer defined by roles like mother, partner, or professional, she seeks a deeper connection with herself and her evolving identity.
• Mentorship and guidance: Rather than direct caregiving, the Wise Woman offers guidance and wisdom to others based on lived experience.

This archetype shift is natural and can feel liberating. It’s not a loss of your former self but an evolution into your most authentic version. You are stepping into a phase where the work is internal, and the focus is on nurturing yourself, rediscovering your passions, and finding fulfillment in new ways.

An Opportunity for Evolution and Growth

This stage of life, while it may feel disorienting, is not an ending—it’s an opportunity. Rather than viewing the changes as a loss of identity or purpose, midlife can be seen as a natural phase of personal evolution. It’s a chance to:

• Reclaim your personal power
• Reconnect with what brings you joy
• Design a life that aligns with your deeper values and desires

The dissatisfaction you feel isn’t a sign of failure; it’s a signal that you are ready for a new chapter—one focused on nurturing your soul and discovering what truly makes you come alive. Life is calling you to shift from achievement-based fulfillment to a deeper, more meaningful existence.

Try these and Start Reclaiming Your Life

1. Identify What’s Missing
   Spend time reflecting on what areas of your life feel empty or unfulfilling. Is it your career? Your personal interests? Your relationships? Sometimes, simply naming what feels “off” is the first step toward clarity.

2. Reconnect with Old Passions
   Think back to things you used to love doing. Hobbies, activities, or interests that used to light you up. Have you let any of those slip away? Pick one to revisit, even for just a few minutes a week.

3. Give Yourself Permission to Change
   It’s okay to want different things now. It’s okay to not be the same person you were five, ten, or twenty years ago. Your desires are valid, and it’s time to honor them.

4. Create Space for Yourself
   Whether it’s setting aside time each day for something you enjoy, creating a peaceful space in your home, or learning how to say “no” to tasks that drain you, carving out time and space for yourself is crucial.

5. Embrace This New Phase
   This isn’t the end of the road—it’s a new beginning. Midlife is often viewed as a time of loss, but it’s really a time of renewal. You have the wisdom of experience and the freedom to make intentional choices about how you want to spend the next chapter of your life. Rather than focusing on what’s behind, shift your gaze toward what’s ahead.

Reframe this phase as one of empowerment, where you’re not just living for others but finally living for yourself. Let the “Tick Tock” serve as a reminder to seize the day, take those long-delayed steps, and start crafting a life that reflects who you are now—a life that prioritizes your passions, nurtures your soul, and allows you to truly flourish.