What Do You Want?-Finding Direction in Mid-Life

Mid-Life is often depicted as a time of reflection, transition, and transformation-a pivotal juncture where we reassess our goals, values, and priorities. It’s a time when we may find ourselves asking the the age-old question: “What do I really want?” Amidst the hustle and bustle of life, it’s important to carve out some time to uncover what truly ignites our passion and purpose. Let’s explore strategies for clearing your path to discovering what lights you up in mid-life.

My Awakening

Most of us do not live our live with any real level of intention. We live life on default, auto pilot. One day runs into another. We ride the circumstances of life. We settle into routines. We are running along, trying to keep up without clarity and direction. Our time is taken up by the endless to do list of daily living; home, family, work, a few hours of downtime….and then, rinse and repeat. Maybe a little something that we enjoy mixed into keep us going.

Honestly, I lived the same rinse and repeat lifestyle day after day, year after year. It was a continual race to check all the to do’s on the list and a challenge to fit in the really meaningful stuff. Me time was almost non-existent and a guilty, guilty pleasure. I was continually looking to go harder and faster hoping that at the end of the day or week there would be a few moments or hours I could just do something enjoyable, important to me, or relax with my family.

I started to question my life choices. I had checked off all the boxes

• Education
• Career
• Marriage
• Home
• Family
• Security

Wasn’t this supposed to be the path to happiness? For the time it was and now, with the changing mid-life dynamics, I was tired and it was time for more.

I remember listening to a podcast one day and they asked the question, “What do you want?” It hit me like a ton of bricks! What do I want? What do I want? With all this stuff to do and others to care about, does it really matter what I want? Epiphany time! In the moments to follows, I realized some really important things:

• I hadn’t even thought about what I wanted, other than to have two minutes peace, in a very long time
• I had no idea what I wanted next
• I was sure not going to get what I wanted if I had no idea what it was
• Years of conditioning had informed me that was not important. Things needed to get done whether I wanted them or not. Period.

Sound familiar??

Finding Direction in Midlife

The realization that without an overarching guiding, intentional direction, it would be more of the same old, same old, I set out to rediscover what it was that I wanted, what was important to me, what made my life fulfilling and purposeful.

I found that determining what I wanted was not as easy as it sounded and set out on the journey to answer that question.

First, I took a deep breath and discovered was that I did not have the time, energy, or clarity to start creating something new. I needed do some soul-searching before moving onto the next best thing. A new hobby was not the answer. I didn’t need to start making several changes at once that I could not maintain. Adding things onto an unworkable foundation was not the answer. I needed to rejuvenate, slow down, assess, make space, center, and get back in touch with myself.

Top Tips for Clearing the Path to Finding What You Want in MID-Life

• Take Care of Yourself: Stop pushing yourself from morning to night, 7 days a week. Put in the time to take care of your mental, physical, and emotional needs. Find out what your needs really are. Make self-care a non negotiable part of your routine. Learn to make yourself a priority.
• Slow Down: Stop being caught up in the relentless pursuit of productivity. It’s not easy to change this habit. There is always something to do. Seek alternatives where you are not the solution to everything. Be intentional to slow down your pace. Sit still for a few minutes a day to start.
• Embrace Self-Reflection: The big step in discovering what you want in mid-life is to take time for self-reflection. Set aside quiet time to journal, meditate, or think about your life direction. Ask yourself questions like: What brings me joy? What do I value? How do I want to experience life? Gain valuable insight on what matters to you.
• Be Willing to Make Changes: Consider giving up things that are no longer working or bringing you fulfillment even if they have in the past. We often stick to familiar patterns and routines. Start to questions what is working and not working in your life. Be open to to new solutions and possibilities. Embrace change as a opportunity to growth and transformation.
• Assess your Time and Energy: Time is a precious resource, and how we spend it reflects our priorities and values. Take a critical look at how you are allocating your time and energy, and identify areas where you may be overextending yourself or engaging in activities that no longer serve you. This can be a big eye opener!
• Learn to Say No-Consider where you need to set boundaries on your time and energy. We always think we can manage everything and can juggle multiple responsibilities and obligations, leaving little room for our own needs and desires. Start to be more selective with your agreements and commitments. Learning to say no is a powerful act of self-care and boundary setting.
• Explore Your Passions: Set aside dedicated time for activities that nourish your soul. Carve out time for creative pursuits, self reflection, quality time with loved ones. Prioritize activities that bring you joy and fulfillment. Mid-Life is a perfect time to reignite old passions and explore interests you have been putting off. Discovering what you want is just as much about exploration as it is about introspection.
• Bring Patience and Self Compassion: Take a small step everyday. Turning your life in a different direction is hard work and takes time. Bring no shame or blame to your discoveries. Treat them as information to build upon.
• Take Notes: As you explore all these areas, take notes of what you discover: what works and what you want to incorporate into your lifestyle moving forward. Start documenting how you want your life to be and who you want to be in it. This is the part where you started to determine what you want so that you can really start creating a vision for your life ahead.

Clearing the path to discover what you want in mid-life is a journey of self-discovery, courage, and authenticity. You can unlock the door to a future filled with clarity, purpose, joy and fulfillment. Let this be the start of your journey! Be aware, explore, run down some different paths, live life in the present, experience the joy of daily living, lighten up, and listen to your desires. The journey of discovery awaits!