Why It’s Normal to Feel Lost Right Now—and How to Start Rediscovering Yourself

Have you ever found yourself wondering, “Who am I now?” or “What happened to the things that used to make me happy?” If so, you’re not alone. Many women reach a point in midlife where they feel disconnected from who they used to be and uncertain about what truly brings them joy. Major life transitions—like changes in career, family roles, or personal priorities—can leave us feeling unmoored, unsure of where we’re headed or what we even want anymore.

The good news? Feeling this way is completely normal. And it’s also the perfect opportunity to begin a journey of rediscovering yourself.

It’s Okay to Feel Lost: Why Midlife Brings Change

First, let’s clear something up: feeling lost at this stage in life is not a sign that you’ve done something wrong. It’s actually a natural part of growth and transformation. Throughout life, we go through different phases where our roles, responsibilities, and priorities shift. Maybe you’ve spent years focused on your career, raising children, or supporting others, leaving little time to think about what truly makes you happy. Now that some of those roles have changed, you might feel an unexpected void.

Midlife often brings a series of changes—whether it’s children leaving home, shifts in career, or personal life transitions. It’s a period that naturally prompts reflection and questions about what’s next. Feeling lost is simply a sign that you’re in a transition phase, and it’s the perfect time to start rediscovering what brings you joy and fulfillment.

Rediscovering Yourself: Where to Begin

The idea of “finding yourself” can sound daunting, especially if it’s been a long time since you’ve thought about what you truly want. But rediscovery doesn’t have to be an all-or-nothing journey. It’s about exploring, without pressure, what lights you up. Here’s how you can start:

1. Revisit Old Joys

• Reflect on Past Happiness: Think back to a time when you felt genuinely happy and alive. What were you doing? What activities or hobbies did you enjoy?
• Quick Exercise: Take a moment to jot down five activities or hobbies you used to enjoy. Choose one to revisit this week, even if just for a few minutes. Approach it with curiosity, without any expectation of performance or achievement.

2. Allow Yourself to Explore New Interests

• Give Yourself Permission: You might not be the same person you were ten or twenty years ago, and that’s okay. As we grow and change, so do our interests.
• Quick Exercise: Make a list of things you’ve been curious about but have never tried—whether it’s gardening, photography, yoga, or learning a new language. Pick one to explore in a small way. For example, if you’re curious about gardening, start with one potted plant. If it’s yoga, find a short online class and give it a go.

3. Reflect on What Brings You Peace

• Notice the Small Moments: Rediscovery isn’t always about big passions or grand hobbies. Sometimes, it’s about noticing the small things that bring you peace and contentment. What moments in your day make you feel calm, centered, or simply at ease?
• Quick Exercise: Over the next week, pay attention to moments that make you feel at peace. Jot down what you were doing and how it made you feel. This simple practice can help you reconnect with the small joys that are already present in your life.

4. Slow Down and Stop Doing Things Just Because You Always Have

• Assess Your Routine: We often move through our days on autopilot, completing tasks out of habit rather than intention. Slowing down allows you to reassess whether certain routines still serve you or if they’re just taking up space in your life.
• Quick Exercise: Over the next few days, choose one habitual activity and pause before starting it. Ask yourself, “Is this something I really need or want to do?” If the answer is no, try letting it go for the day. Replace it with something more nurturing or aligned with your current needs.

5. Listen to What You Need and Want

• Tune into Your Inner Voice: In the rush of daily life, we can lose sight of our own needs and desires. By consciously listening to yourself, you can start reconnecting with what truly matters to you.
• Quick Exercise: Set aside five minutes of quiet time today. Ask yourself, “What do I need or want right now?” Listen to your inner voice, without judgment or pressure. Whether it’s rest, alone time, or something creative, commit to honoring that need with one small action today.

Moving Forward with Curiosity and Ease

One of the biggest obstacles to rediscovering yourself is the pressure to have everything figured out. But this is a journey, not a destination. There’s no need to rush toward a “new purpose” overnight. Instead, give yourself permission to explore with curiosity and playfulness. Let go of the expectation of finding a definitive answer right away. This phase is about opening up to new possibilities and gently exploring what brings you joy.

Every small step you take—whether it’s revisiting an old hobby or trying something new—moves you closer to a life that resonates with who you are now. By allowing yourself to savor the small moments of joy and peace, you’re nurturing a deeper connection with yourself.

Embracing the Journey of Rediscovery

The process of rediscovering yourself is not about reinventing who you are; it’s about reconnecting with what makes you feel most alive. This journey offers the freedom to explore what lights you up, free from the constraints of past roles and expectations. It might take time, and that’s okay. The journey itself is where you find growth, joy, and fulfillment.

As you navigate this path, remember that you don’t need to have all the answers. Start small and be kind to yourself. Rediscovering yourself can lead to a more aligned and soul-nourishing life—one that reflects the true you.